“I thought you were going to ruin the movie.” The director said flatly, in front of the crew on our lunch break. He was across the kitchen from me, and we were both eating our Subway sandwiches like our lives depended on it. The morning had been great, albeit stressful. We were filming the climax of the film and (such is life on set) we were running out of time.
Ruining the movie, being a ‘bad vibe,’ and eliminating creativity are all themes that I have run into while working as an intimacy coordinator, although folks are normally much more discreet about their disdain about me being there. However hearing it from this director surprised me as he had been nothing but receptive to my ideas and the process. This brought me to the conclusion that I have arrived at time and time again: the position is new and people only hear bits and pieces, so draw their own moral and artistic conclusions regarding the value of intimacy coordination on their sets.
What is an intimacy coordinator anyway? What do they actually do versus the misconceptions of working with one? Before we do a quick breakdown, I need to say that this is a general overview with a focus on my work. Intimacy professionals will always do things differently and approach the position differently. Read on for a short snapshot of my own intimacy coordination work and experience.
According to the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists (ACTRA) National’s Best Practices Guide, an intimacy coordinator does the following;
Implements proper protocols for scenes involving intimacy, simulated sex, nudity or high emotional content.
Liaises between production and performers.
Coaches movement for scenes with intimacy, simulated sex, and/or nudity.
Advocates for performers.
The above guide also goes on to list the skills that an intimacy coordinator should have, which includes but is not limited to: sexual health safety, consent, mental health first aid, closed set protocols, movement and choreography, modesty garments, barriers and other tools, riders and contracts, union agreements and guidelines, and harassment laws and resources. Within advocacy work lives training and practice in anti-racism, 2SLGBTQIA+ allyship, as well as a working knowledge of power dynamics in creative spaces.
Image courtesy of the Intimacy Coordinators Alliance
So with the knowledge of what intimacy coordinators do in a practical sense, why is there the occasional (sometimes more than occasional) vitriol from film directors and production crews? In my own experience, as well as the experiences of my colleagues, there’s a certain element of fear of ‘ruining’ a movie that comes from working with or hiring an intimacy coordinator. What does it mean to ‘ruin’ a move? What are the concerns and reservations about hiring an intimacy coordinator?
I’ve managed to narrow down some of the reasoning behind the hesitation.
Censorship
When actors, directors, producers, etc are concerned about ‘ruining’ a film, I think that generally what they mean is they are being censored. They are concerned that we are going to say, “No, you can’t do this or that because I said so, and I’m the intimacy coordinator.” This assumption usually comes from seeing the changes intimacy coordinators bring, concern about a level of protocol, and assuming that it means eliminating any and all sex, and violence, etc. However, to be clear, if it weren’t for scenes with sex and violence, I wouldn’t have work.
We ask ‘how’ and ‘why’ those scenes are happening, in order for context, protocol and storytelling to be at the forefront in those scenes. We lead difficult conversations and ask awkward questions to avoid purposeless (or what appears to be purposeless) scenes of sexuality. We don’t want censorship, we want scenes of intimacy to be as thoughtful as the rest of the film. So much opportunity is lost by telling actors to “Just kiss,” when the rest of the shooting is done so thoughtfully. As an intimacy coordinator, I am a storyteller. If I wanted to work in Human Resources or censorship, I would! But I don’t! We don’t want to tell people what art they can or cannot make, rather we want people to be thoughtful about what they’re showing on screen and why, and how they’re treating their colleagues and actors once the camera shuts off.
Eliminate Risk Taking
Many actors have come forward to make their stance on the feminist movement of intimacy coordination in films following the #MeToo Movement. ‘Risk’ is a curious concept that has impacted creatives since the dawn of time. Risk taking is the idea of trying something new, different, outside the box, etc. There is the assumption that intimacy coordinators are making art too ‘safe.’ Actors wouldn’t want to take risks with an intimacy coordinator dictating what they can and can’t do during an intimate scene.
Intimacy coordinators create a ‘container’ (think: Tupperware or Rubbermaid) with the sides and lid being the actors' boundaries. Once we identify with the performers where each person isn’t comfortable being touched, as well as other nuances (including duration, intensity, pressure level, etc), actors then feel empowered to act freely within that container we build together without crossing any boundaries and respecting their scene partner. They can act confidently and follow their impulses knowing that their colleague is on the same page. I believe that this actually increases actor risk-taking because their personal boundaries and safety isn’t called into question. That doesn’t mean that actors don’t make uncomfortable choices, rather it’s much easier to have these nuanced conversations when we have parameters and open communication!
Image courtesy of SAG-AFTRA
We Are Here to Take Over
As I said when talking about censorship: if we wanted to be directors, we would. We are not here to take power away from anyone and any role, but rather we are here to function as an ethical disruption to the current film industry that was a breeding ground for - whether intentional or not - exploitation. Intimacy coordinators are here to uplift the entire production as well as advocate for performers. Everyone deserves respect while working even if the work is a little weird. We are filling a role that many a compassionate Assistant Director, Wardrobe, or Hair and Makeup Staff was already offering with unacknowledged emotional labour. Intimacy coordinators have the film experience to know how film works and how storytelling works, but also have specialised training to keep a stressful environment human-centred not production centred. It’s a feminist, anti-capitalist position rooted in advocacy and art.
This is just the tip of a very large iceberg. Intimacy coordination is rooted in feminist principles to make art in a sustainable, human-centred way that often goes against (but still fits within) the current film landscape. As the position continues to evolve to fulfil the needs of the film world, I look forward to the future where there is more of mutual understanding of the role of intimacy coordinators and what they can support and build to the film industry.
CITED
“Best Practices for Scenes Involving Nudity, Intimacy, Simulated Sex and Sexual Violence.” ACTRA National, ACTRA National, 2 Sept. 2020, www.actra.ca/industry-resources/best-practices/.
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